A World of Me

Tomorrow is the big press conference with Apple to discuss the iPhone 4, and most likely the apparent issue with holding it a certain way and losing signal strength. I can say, now that I’ve had my iPhone 4 for a week, that I don’t notice any difference from my iPhone 3G as far as reception is concerned. Perhaps I’m just lucky, or perhaps I just don’t get enough phone calls. I think it’s the latter.

This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

I’m sure that Steve Jobs will have something important to say, or at least he’ll give people material to crack jokes at for a week or so. Personally, I wouldn’t mind if they gave out one of their $30 “bumpers,” as I think it’s a rip off to sell them for that much anyway. Hell, even the USB to iPhone cords are $20. Right, like I’m going to pay that much for a cord, let alone a rubber band to put around my iPhone 4. Assholes.

That is actually the only problem I have owning an iPhone: I have to deal with Apple. I’m obviously not one of those “Apple-Bots” that people talk about, I just think the iPhone is a fantastic and awesome toy that doubles as a phone. I don’t think that Apple is Bananas. (see what I did there?)  But Apple comes along and makes it difficult to do even the easiest things. For example, tonight I was asked if there was a way to sync your voicemail messages. I hadn’t thought about that before, but after looking through Google apparently Apple didn’t either. To be fair, it’s possible, but it’s not a native feature. Which pisses me off.

I miss some of the features of my jailbroken 3G. I liked being able to choose the sounds for any function, not pick one of ten horrible sounds they want me to choose for just new mail and new text messages. In our household we have two iPhone 4s; mine and my girlfriend’s. We both look at each other when our phones are across the room and we hear a new message come through, neither knowing whose phone it was. That usually ends in us fighting over who will have to go and check, and before you know it one of us (and by “one of us” I mean me) is bleeding from several places and walking to the kitchen counter with their head down in shame for losing the battle, only to check both phones; and if it’s the other person’s phone, just mentioning it and walking back to the couch sans iPhone.

But before it wasn’t a problem. My jailbroken iPhone played sounds that I put on my phone for each and every function.

The root issue here is customization. We live in a world of “me.” I want my shit to be the way my shit ought to be. And my shit should play Navi from Ocarina of Time saying, “Hey!” every time I get a new email! If some asshole can hack the iPhone and make these things possible then I think Apple ought to be able to figure it out for themselves. At least they let you choose the background of your home screen now. That really pissed me off.

Can you blow me where the pampers is?

I’m curious as to when they’ll release Netflix in the App Store, too. That kinda sucks for new iPhone customers who have a cap on their data plans, because I’m sure that watching “Murder, She Wrote” episodes will use a shitload of data transfer. I don’t have to worry about it, at least for now anyway, because I was grandfathered into the unlimited plan. I’ll get all the Angela Lansbury I can take (which is a lot) until AT&T tells me otherwise.

And an update on Angry Birds, which I suggested you download for your iWhatever, I have now beaten the game and still suggest it to other people, along with Peggle and Words With Friends. If you have WWF, you can now find me at AverageHenry, as some asshole out there already has the name SavageHenry and the game won’t let me transfer my old name of SvgHenry.

I tried using the WordPress app on my iPhone, which I’ll admit is pretty cool, but it doesn’t have enough features for me. I want to be able to use the stats. I like stats. I like saying stats. Hell, I’d even name my kid Stats. Well, maybe not, but I still would like to know how many people have pitied me enough to click my facebook link and read a line or two. Otherwise, it’s quite nice.

About sums it up...

Lastly, I have a feeling that I’ll be starting a weekly segment called “Douchebag of the Week.” I’ll be happy to take entries for such an honor, but I’ll probably stick to people on Xbox Live. That place is where people go to learn how to be douches. It’s Douchebag Academy, and I’ll be happy to share with the masses stories about people who piss me off. Maybe I’ll start this week, but I haven’t been on Xbox Live for a while as I’ve been busy with work and writing this crap. If I don’t come across one, I will simply nominate rynosauri for the hell of it.

If you’re on XBL or PSN you can find me at SvgHenry. I’m the one pointing and laughing.

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