101 Reasons to Love the 1990′s (80-61)

Here’s the next portion of my 101 reasons to love the 1990’s. Enjoy!

80. Wonderall, by Oasis. Every dude learned to play in on the guitar and played it for their girlfriend. At least it’s better than “Hey There, Delilah.”

79. Doc Martins were worn by everyone who wanted to be an individual. Which was a lot of people, therefore negating the whole “individual” thing.

Dude, we're soup, too!

78. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, giving even ugly green dudes hope for scoring with a hot reporter.

77. Viagra was released for the first time. Hooray for old guys with stiffies…

76. NKOTB. If you think you don’t know what that is you’re a big, fat liar.

75. The Dead Sea Scrolls were unvieled, even though no one knew what the hell they said.

74. The phrase “going postal” was coined, giving a bad name to hard working, asshole postmen everywhere.

73. “If it [the glove] doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” Sadly for most men, they weren’t talking about condems.

72. Terminator 2: Judgement Day released in 1991, a whopping 18 years before Christian Bale even knew the meaning to half the bad words used on the set of Terminator: Salvation.

71. Furbies make a brief appearance for all of us to ask, “Why?”

I'm voting Republican. The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth.

70. Faux hippies try to recreate the summer of love. The only difference is that they’re a bunch of spoiled brats. Otherwise, they smelled about the same.

69. The SNES came out, saying good-bye to all those crap-ass 8 bit games and ushering in 16 bit shit. Don’t get me wrong, I love both the NES and SNES, but c’mon… Other than nostalgia they really were shit.

68. Metallica still kicked ass. In fact, it wasn’t until the latter part of the 1990’s that they really started to suck terribly. The “black” album was about their pinnacle even though it signaled their stray from hard-core metal, but it was an amazing album nonetheless.

67. Everyone wanted to see exactly how many different colored flannel shirts they could wear or tie somewhere on their body. Actually, I miss those days.

66. At the school dance: “Hey, if I ask the DJ to play Boyz II Men will you dance with me?” “Yeah!”

65. Monica Lewinski ushered in an era of dick jokes unlike any woman before her. And every guy publicly winced at the thought of her, but secretly wouldn’t kick her out of bed.

Who you callin' old, bitch?

64. “Waaaaaasssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup?”

63. Beavis and Butthead make every parent believe their children are doing drugs. And they were right, because how else was that shit suppose to be funny?

62. Nolan Ryan pitched two no-hitter games for the Texas Rangers, and beat the shit out of Robin Ventura on the mound just for good measure. That’s how Texans roll.

61. Marky Mark asked if we could “feel the vibrations,” and most of us wished we couldn’t.

And that’s all for today. Stay tuned as I get closer to the bottom of the list!

    • Adam
    • July 23rd, 2010

    Nice list. I slowly started getting testicular pain when I read reason 65 and 64. Maybe its just coincidence, but I’ll be heading to the hospital now.

  1. Yeah, right. You know you’ve looked up her playboy photo spread on the intertoobs. Perv.

    • Adam
    • July 23rd, 2010

    I’m not lying. I literally had to go see a doctor, for serial lol. I got the pain at around the bottom of the list and I couldn’t walk. Today has been horrible.

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