101 Reasons to Love the 1990′s (60-41)

Continuing with the countdown. Again, this isn’t really in any particular order. So suck it.

60. Waco, TX became known as “Wack-O, TX” because of David Koresh and his Branch Davidians in 1993.

59. Saturday Night Live was funny on purpose.

We all laugh, but he gets to sleep with Mila Kunis. Asshole.

58. “Home Alone” was one of the biggest family movies of all time, and every boy wanted his family to disappear over Christmas so he could thwart a midget and a dumb-ass from breaking into their home, too.

57. Pearl Jam’s first album, Ten, was released, correctly predicting the number of good songs they would write in the next twenty years.

56. Austin Powers shagged his way into everyday lingo, baby. Yeah.

55. Everyone liked Steve Urkel. Black, White, Asian, Mexican- everyone. But real life nerds lacked his “Cool Juice” and “Boss Sauce” so they couldn’t make a cooler clone to win over their pretty neighbors.

54. Michael Jackson was still alive and kickin’, and his music had improved a little. But it still sucked.

53. AOL sent out millions of disks with free hours of internet access. Many were used as coasters because, let’s face it, the internet is the devil.

Damnit, who keeps paging me from 531-8008?!?

52. Denis Leary released “No Cure for Cancer.” That dude is still alive and making fun of people. I gotta meet his doctor.

51. The Doors biopic by Oliver Stone is released on the 20th anniversary of Jim Morrison’s supposed death. That was about the only thing he got right. 

50. The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time is released and hailed, even to this day, as one of the best video games ever created. Having spent countless hours playing that game personally, I can attest to its awesomeness.

49. Ross Perot. That writes its own jokes.

48. Dana Carvey had a career.

47. Baggy jeans were where it was at. The baggier the jeans, the cooler. If you looked like you could easily smuggle people into the country then you were doing it right.

Nothing says 12th century England like a Bryan Adams soundtrack.

46. Alice in Chains released “Dirt,” one of the most complete albums of the 1990’s.

45. “Hey, you gotta quarter?” “Yeah, why?” “Oh, I just got a page and I gotta call the number back to see what they want.” “Sweet. Nobody pages me except my mom.”

44. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves ended up being funnier than Robin Hood: Men in Tights, but not on purpose.

43. The first MP3 player was introduced in 1998 and had 32Mb of memory, expandible to 64Mb. Nowadays we can store all of our Spice Girls albums on our 32Gb iPods.

42. DVD’s came out to the market, costing an average of about $30 per movie. Lucklily companies made the dual video cassette/DVD players for those with huge porn collections that didn’t want to upgrade.

41. Everyone learned the Macarena. It was even taught in schools. What the hell, America?

OK, so I’m releasing these lists sooner than once per day, but I wanted to get them out there. So suck it.

    • Adam
    • July 23rd, 2010

    Are these reasons in any personal sequential order going down to your #1 reason you love the 1990’s or are they all just reasons to love the 90’s?

    By the way keep it up. This shit is too funny.

  1. They’re just reasons to love the 1990’s. No real or particular order. Glad you think it’s funny!

  2. And don’t be shy about reposting it… 😉

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