Ever wonder what it feels like to have your head pulled? Truthfully? It feels great!
I have a slipped disk in my neck and the chiropractor put my head in this helmut looking device that pulled my head for a while.
It was pretty awesome.
So there.
With Thanksgiving tomorrow I wanted to make a list of things that I am thankful for in my life. Then I cam across this site.
I guess I’m thankful that my name is not entirely awful, as some of these poor saps’ names are:
1. Richard Lips
2. Richard Strain
3. Ophelia Cox
4. Iona Bierhaus
And so on. Pretty much anyone named Richard, really. Sucks to be one of those guys. If your name is Richard, I am sorry that your name can be “Dick” whatever.
So I’ll stick with Henry. Suites me well and it doesn’t completely suck. And that’s what I’m thankful for today.
I went grocery shopping and bought the usual crap. I also got a lot of veggies. Not because I eat a lot of veggies, but it makes me feel like the checkout person isn’t judging me as bad if I have veggies along with six gallons of ice cream and four cases – yes, cases – of hot pockets.
Anyhoo, the checkout guy has to look each veggie up and weigh them and whatnot. He picks up my two onions in a bag and begins to look at them like it was his first time to see a rubix cube. He was utterly perplexed.
He turns to me and says, “Are these onions?”
Me: “How’s that?”
Checkout Guy: “Huh?”
Me: “Yes. Those are onions.”
Checkout guy: “Oh.”
“Oh?” Really? Had he never in his life been witness to the wonders of an actual onion? These weren’t strange onions from another land or anything; I’d just picked them up about 20 yards away! They were totally normal onions in every sense that an onion can be normal!
Which brings me to the point of this post…
I always find it funny when people say, “How’s that?” when they didn’t quite hear you. I dunno why. It’s just amusing. Not like throwing-yogurt-out-your-window-while-driving-and-it-gets-on-your-face amusing, but more like when-an-Austrailian-person-speaks kinda amusing. Not that I have anything against Aussies. I think their accents are pretty sexy, actually. But it’s still amusing.
For real… What’s been going on?
Truth be told I totally forgot about Bubble Gum and Energy Drinks until I googled my name and it came up. Don’t judge. You’ve googled your name, too. Hell, I’ve googled your name and I have to say, it’s not all flattering.
So what have I been doing for over a year?
I started RangersGameDay on twitter and a blog. I got in trouble with MLB for giving away tickets to games. I started working a second job waiting tables. I did a 15 day “reboot” diet of veggies and fruit and lost 15 pounds. I gained it all back. It’s hot as hell in Texas during the summer and it’s comfy at Thanksgiving. You know… the usual.
Maybe I’ll stop by here more often and impart words of unwisdom to you all. Or maybe you can stuff it. Whatever…
The Texas Rangers Claw and Antler shirts are not available online. If you see someone selling them, they are fake. At least for now.
Fans can pre-order the shirts at the Majestic gift shop at the Ballpark or at the Rangers stores in Dallas and Fort Worth. You can also order them by phone at 817-273-5015.
They come in small – XXL and cost $26 each. No confirmation on price increase for larger sizes yet. The shirts are made by Nike and should be avaiable in late September.
Also available to preorder are foam claw for $9.
No word on Antler hats or anything else.
For the story on the Claw and Antlers, check here.
It feels like I haven’t written anything at all in ages, and judging by my posts it certainly looks that way, too. As some of you may or may not know, I recently became engaged to my girlfriend and that has brought on a whole new set of “boyfriend duties” that, frankly, I did not see coming.
To save myself the embarassment I won’t go into what all that includes, but suffice it to say that I don’t think I’ll have my balls back any time soon. Not that I had full custody before – I just simply renegotiated the terms of my joint custody of them and I came out on the short end of that stick. Insert joke here.
A lot else has happened since I last wrote here. My post on the Texas Rangers and The Claw/The Antlers gets a hell of a lot of visits from across the intertoobs. I don’t blame them, because I’m just that awesome.
In other news, I have discovered that the fabled Netflix app for the iPhone does exist, and I can’t say enough good things about it. It’s about frackin’ time, though, because I need to have even more of a distraction while I drive. Amiright? Am I the only one who watches Matlock while flippin’ people off for driving the speed limit?
Anyhoo.
The app is almost complete. By that I mean that it doesn’t allow you to put even more crap in your disc que, but that isn’t a total loss. I don’t even mess with my disc que anyway; I let my girlfriend -AHEM – I mean fiance have that to herself. Just like most everything else. She sends off for the most craptastic movies anyway, so I honestly don’t give a hoot.
What do you mean "Keep your eye on the ball?"
And speaking of craptastic movies, I started to watch Krull last week while visiting my fiance’s family in Austin. Some people canhandle crap movies for the sake of humor and I fancy myself one of those people. But there is nothing remotely even funny about Krull. I think I would rather stomp on my own face then watch that movie. I’ve swallowed back bile that is less offensive.
Other than that, the movie sucks.
I’ve downloaded a few new apps to review, so I figure I’ll get into that this weekend. But I do have one thing to report on the app ScanBizCards. I finally had an opportunity to use that app “in the field.” I went to a business expo and instead of asking people for their business cards I asked if they would mind me scanning their card right there. It was such a hit that several people took out their iPhones and bought the full version of it right there. If that’s not a good testimony for ScanBizCards then I don’t know what is.
So look for more Bubble Gum and Energy Drinks this weekend. I’ve tried to get a guest writer to review video games so you might see something new on that front some time soon.
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I am brand new to the whole “Sudoku” experience. I have heard about it, and have made fun of people for it. But truth be told, it was because I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
Until now.
I found a free sudoku game which I won’t mention, and found that the concept of the game warranted finding a better, nicer looking version in the app store. Preferably free. That desire was granted in the form of Finger Arts’ Sudoku 2.
There is a free version and a paid version, which sells for $2.99. For the extra cabbage you get zero ads, a different board look called glass, and horizontal game mode. Personally, I’m a cheap bastard. But I gotta admit that I am considering paying for the app just because I like this particular version of sudoku so much.
You don’t miss out on much with the free version. It’s not stunted, lame, or gutted by any means. It’s a solid game with no real restrictions compared to the paid version. This makes me happy, because again, I’m a cheap bastard. You still get to choose between two looks (or themes, if you will) and the ads are barely noticeable. At least to me. The default look is my favorite, as it reminds me of Scrabble letters. Only they’re numbers.
The game still records your stats, and is also tied into OpenFeint. If you’re into that sort of thing then you aren’t missing anything from either paid or free version. It tracks high scores and perfect games, meaning you completed the board with three screw ups or less. For a noob like me, it’s hard to do that. I’ve only done that 2 out of 7 tries.
Personally, I prefer to listen to my own badass music when I play this game. It’s easier to concentrate on the board if I got my Mariah Carey or Debbie Gibson playing in the background. But that’s just me. There’s also a helpful Help menu for those of you, like me, who don’t know what the hell they’re doing.
Once you’re in the game and playing, the beauty of the graphics drown out the Spice Girls anthology and envelope you in the numbers spread about the board. Filling out the missing pieces is a cinch, as is most everything else about this game. Everything is very intuitive and smooth, even for a nub like me. I found that I could easily navigate this app and figure out further tips on becoming a better sudoku player. Even if I’m no master yet, it is still really fun to play and it doesn’t hurt that it’s really nice looking, too.
Now I honestly don’t like whoring out games. Call of Atlantis impressed me so much that I wrote about it, and I gotta say that Sudoku 2 impresses me just as much. Of course, you gotta be into this kind of game to enjoy it.
The concept, for those who don’t know, is quite simple: each 3 x 3 box needs to have the numbers 1-9 in it. Every row and every column also needs to have the numbers 1-9 in it. Sounds simple enough, right? Not so fast, Johnny Fast Fingers. It’s just not as easy as it sounds. And I think that’s why I like it.
If you or someone you know digs on these kinds of games, please click on the share buttons below and let them know.
Now, back to my sudoku game and the soothing and pleasant sounds of Enigma. So suck it.
Today Beloit College released their Beliot College Mindset List for college grads in 2014. If you’re not familiar with the list, it’s basically crap that kids these days have or have not been familiar with during their lives based on their age.
Some of them make me cringe, others are dumb. But all told, it’s scary that some of them are probably very, very true.
Below is their list, found here.
Most students entering college for the first time this fall—the Class of 2014—were born in 1992.
For these students, Benny Hill, Sam Kinison, Sam Walton, Bert Parks and Tony Perkins have always been dead.
1. Few in the class know how to write in cursive.
2. Email is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.
3. “Go West, Young College Grad” has always implied “and don’t stop until you get to Asia…and learn Chinese along the way.”
4. Al Gore has always been animated.
5. Los Angelinos have always been trying to get along.
6. Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and the other blood-suckers at Hemery High.
7. “Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-caf vanilla latte” have always been street corner lingo.
8. With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people with disabilities.
9. Had it remained operational, the villainous computer HAL could be their college classmate this fall, but they have a better chance of running into Miley Cyrus’s folks on Parents’ Weekend.
10. A quarter of the class has at least one immigrant parent, and the immigration debate is not a big priority…unless it involves “real” aliens from another planet.
11. John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
12. Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty Harry.
13. Parents and teachers feared that Beavis and Butt-head might be the voice of a lost generation.
14. Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.
15. Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.
16. Korean cars have always been a staple on American highways.
17. Trading Chocolate the Moose for Patti the Platypus helped build their Beanie Baby collection.
18. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.
19. They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.
20. DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.
21. Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with Soon-Yi Previn.
22. Cross-burning has always been deemed protected speech.
23. Leasing has always allowed the folks to upgrade their tastes in cars.
24. “Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T has never been available on a recording.
25. Leno and Letterman have always been trading insults on opposing networks.
26. Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides.
27. Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
28. They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.
29. Reggie Jackson has always been enshrined in Cooperstown.
30. “Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV shows.
31. The first computer they probably touched was an Apple II; it is now in a museum.
32. Czechoslovakia has never existed.
33. Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.
34. “Assisted Living” has always been replacing nursing homes, while Hospice has always been an alternative to hospitals.
35. Once they got through security, going to the airport has always resembled going to the mall.
36. Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.
37. Whatever their parents may have thought about the year they were born, Queen Elizabeth declared it an “Annus Horribilis.”
38. Bud Selig has always been the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.
39. Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your pizza there in under 30 minutes.
40. There have always been HIV positive athletes in the Olympics.
41. American companies have always done business in Vietnam.
42. Potato has always ended in an “e” in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.
43. Russians and Americans have always been living together in space.
44. The dominance of television news by the three networks passed while they were still in their cribs.
45. They have always had a chance to do community service with local and federal programs to earn money for college.
46. Nirvana is on the classic oldies station.
47. Children have always been trying to divorce their parents.
48. Someone has always gotten married in space.
49. While they were babbling in strollers, there was already a female Poet Laureate of the United States.
50. Toothpaste tubes have always stood up on their caps.
51. Food has always been irradiated.
52. There have always been women priests in the Anglican Church.
53. J.R. Ewing has always been dead and gone. Hasn’t he?
54. The historic bridge at Mostar in Bosnia has always been a copy.
55. Rock bands have always played at presidential inaugural parties.
56. They may have assumed that parents’ complaints about Black Monday had to do with punk rockers from L.A., not Wall Street.
57. A purple dinosaur has always supplanted Barney Google and Barney Fife.
58. Beethoven has always been a dog.
59. By the time their folks might have noticed Coca Cola’s new Tab Clear, it was gone.
60. Walmart has never sold handguns over the counter in the lower 48.
61. Presidential appointees have always been required to be more precise about paying their nannies’ withholding tax, or else.
62. Having hundreds of cable channels but nothing to watch has always been routine.
63. Their parents’ favorite TV sitcoms have always been showing up as movies.
64. The U.S, Canada, and Mexico have always agreed to trade freely.
65. They first met Michelangelo when he was just a computer virus.
66. Galileo is forgiven and welcome back into the Roman Catholic Church.
67. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has always sat on the Supreme Court.
68. They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.
69. The Post Office has always been going broke.
70. The artist formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg has always been rapping.
71. The nation has never approved of the job Congress is doing.
72. One way or another, “It’s the economy, stupid” and always has been.
73. Silicone-gel breast implants have always been regulated.
74. They’ve always been able to blast off with the Sci-Fi Channel.
75. Honda has always been a major competitor on Memorial Day at Indianapolis.
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It seems that I have had an infulx in Texas Rangers fan stop by my little blog, and frankly that makes me happy that I can share some Ranger love with some folks.
That being said, I am coming off a several week long binge of finding myself hating the Rangers. Now, before any panties get twisted, my loyalties are (and always will be) with the Rangers. I have just been dissapointed with their choices for trades. At first it was Bengie Molina, but then he got on my good side after going full cycle a while back. Then it was Cliff Lee, who I disliked at first because of his first two outings as a Ranger. They must’ve ordered him a uniform that was too tight and then got him a new one, because now he plays like everyone says he does. And I like that.
Moving right along, I have yet to see any particular reason to start liking Cantu or Guzman. I’m sure they fit will in Washington and Miami, but neither of them seems to have the same energetic panache as, say, Nelson Cruz or Elvis Andrus. Hell, even Michael Young and CJ Wilson look like they’re having more fun than those two (though admitedly, Cantu is more energetic than Guzman), and they’re two of the most serious and focused guys in the normal lineup!
Now, to show my fairness here, I remember saying to my girlfriend when Nelson Cruz finally came back that I was afraid that it would mess up the working chemestry on the field. We were used to seeing Borbon, Hamilton, and Murphy in the outfield, and I worried that things might not click. Lucily, that wasn’t the case. Cruz is still just as much a part of the team as ever, though his immediate future is unclear due to an injury.
When you compare our lineup now to a month or a month and a half ago, you’d barely recognize it. Gone are the days of Kinsler and Davis, but as much as I loved Davis, his batting was lackluster at best. Gone also are the days of Treanor and Ramirez. Now we see Molina, Cantu, occasionally Moreland, Guzman (though now on the DL), and more of Blanco.
Moreland is one that I like. He’s great at the plate. Not too antsy and is willing to be patient without sacrificing precision. Blanco isn’t bad at all, but he’s no Ian Kinsler. I suppose I am being too hard on Guzman and Cantu, but until proven otherwise, I just don’t think they fit well with the Texas Rangers.
And now that there are actual hopes for more than just a mediocre season, I want the Rangers to be every bit as good as they were in June! I want another 11 game winning streak! I want Hamilton to have another twenty some-odd game streak where he hit safely. I want Vlad to get his head back in the game!
Basically, I want the Rangers to go all the way to the World Series and have a shot at winning it. That’s not too much to ask, right?
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